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SNYDER: Have Nose, Will Snore

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Snoring Graphic

By Dr. James L. Snyder

Having been married as long as The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and myself, there are very few things we disagree.

I run by the idea, “Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?” That has guided me through many a storm these past years.

Almost every day, I come across somebody having difficulty getting along with their spouse. My counseling has been consistent through the years, “You don’t always have to be right.”

 That’s what causes a lot of problems in relationships. People are obsessed with being right about everything, even when wrong. It doesn’t cost a person a lot to give in, even when they might be right. Our relationship has been very calm except for a few bumps.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is what I call a Vegetable Freak, whereas, on the other side of the kitchen table, I’m just a Freak.

If my wife doesn’t get her daily dose of vegetables, she can become quite anxious. However, when I get my daily dose of vegetables, I also become anxious but in the other direction.

The king on her vegetable table is broccoli. Just the sight of broccoli is very offensive to me. I never had broccoli when I was growing up, and I’m not going to have broccoli until I die.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is very focused on her broccoli diet. If a day goes by that, she has not had broccoli, I have not seen it yet. Often I use broccoli as a bargaining chip for my favorite food, Apple Fritter.

From my point of view, and it’s only mine, the Apple Fritter makes up for Eve’s apple blunder in the Garden of Eden. That is my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Probably, the biggest controversy we have, which has been with us ever since we were married, has to do with snoring. But, for some reason, I know not why, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage assumes that I snore every night.

Often in the middle of the night, I will feel a sharp elbow in my Adam ribs and hear somebody say, “Stop your snoring.” 

 For the life of me I have no idea what she’s talking about.

She will confront me in the morning over breakfast with the idea that I snore at night. With a very quizzical nod, I just tried to forget that complaint. I know that I don’t snore at night.

 “You know how miserable it makes me to hear you snoring all night?”

 I return her quizzical look and tell her that I don’t know what she is talking about. I stayed up one night and never heard myself snore. For some reason, she has the idea that snoring is bad for your health.

 “Don’t you know it’s not healthy to snore at night like you do?”

 I kept my response to myself, but if snoring is not healthy, how come everybody does it? I don’t want her to hear me say that for various reasons.

 I’m not sure about the health damage snoring does to a person. If I had been snoring all these years, according to her, how come it has not affected my health?

One night I got up and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Then, walking down the hallway to the bedroom, I heard this raspy noise. As I got to my bedroom, here it was, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage snoring. I only regret that I did not tape that incident because it would have been worth a lot to me.

 When we got up in the morning, I was chuckling, and looking at me, she said, “Why are you laughing?”

 Do I tell her, or do I pass it off? Being who I am, I actually did tell her.

 She glared at me and said most vocally, “I do not snore, and I don’t want to hear you tell me that ever again.”

I chuckled inwardly and was waiting for some excuse to tell her again.

 Then I saw it. A little Facebook report said that contrary to what people have believed, snoring is a very healthy thing for your body. According to this investigation, the bigger you are, the more you need to snore.

 In sharing this new information with my wife, she was not very sympathetic. “That cannot be right,” she said most defiantly. “Snoring is not healthy.”

 Then I showed her the story and even read it, and she did not want to believe it. I looked at her and said, “It must be true because it’s on Facebook.”

 Looking at me she said, “You believe everything you read on Facebook?”

 “Well,” I said as soberly as possible, “I believe this one for sure.”

 Not knowing what to say, she just turned around and walked away, mumbling something I couldn’t understand.

When we went to bed that night, I looked at her and said, “I’m going to have a very healthy night tonight.”

She didn’t smile, but I did.

As I drifted off to la-la-land, I thought of a scripture. Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” 

It is quite rare when two people agree on everything. It is important that we agree on the right things. We can have our difference but there are crucial issues where we must agree. Every relationship is based on discovering those issues and committing ourselves to them.

 Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., website www.jamessnyderministries.com.

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History is HISTORY!

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Horace McQueen ColumnBy Horace McQueen
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Nero Fiddles and Rome burns!  Such a fitting comparison to the headlines of today! Protestors continue marching, burning, looting and raising Hell in general. And too often the weak spineless politicians are afraid to challenge the protesters. Once statues come crashing down that are not “correct” in the eyes of the rabble rousers, what next? 

One Houston reactionary advocates tearing down the huge statue of Sam Houston that graces I-45 and old Highway 75 near Huntsville. And all roads, streets, highways, byways, schools, other public buildings that bear names of our leaders from generations ago are in the target zone. Just think about this! If not for the leadership of slave owner Houston at the battle of San Jacinto, Texas today could be a part of Mexico. 

Reckon what the “tear ‘em down” morons really know about our history—not a whole lot! Teachers must spend a lot of time “teaching to the test” and not teaching our youngsters the history about the building of this great nation. Reckon how many high school students know that the Washington monument was built by contractors (all Yankees) using slave labor. Or that the Inca and Mayan temples in Mexico and Central America were built by slaves. Those who need a cause to destruct property should join the U.S. military and head across the water to where real battles are being fought by REAL AMERICANS.

No more Six Flags Over Texas featuring the flags that have flown over the Lone Star State. With all the protests against anything Southern, the Six Flags owners removed the six flags that have flown over the tourist attraction since 1961. Destined for the burn barrels are the flags of Spain, France, Mexico, the Republic of Texas and the Confederacy. Only the flag of the United States will be waving henceforth at Six Flags. A Six Flags spokesperson said owners wanted to feature that which “unites us rather than divides us.” 

What a mess, man-made and no end in sight. Lord, bring us leaders with common sense and the backbone to bring us together! 

That’s –30– 

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MASH, Maude, and Kung Fu all turn 50

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Danny Tyree ColumnTyrades By Danny Tyree

I didn’t watch all of them from the very beginning, but several significant TV shows debuted in the fall of 1972.

“The Bob Newhart Show” starred Bob Newhart (who turned 93 on September 5) as psychologist Bob Hartley. Bob’s trademark stammer didn’t seem all that noticeable to me. I was just starting junior high school and being at a loss for words was par for the course around the ninth-grade girls. I imagined lying face-down on Bob’s couch to hide the zits. If Bob had added a P.E. climbing rope in his office, I’ll bet all his patients would have plunged out the window.

“M*A*S*H,” of course, followed the doctors and support staff of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War. The comedy-drama could genuinely surprise us (as with Corporal Radar O’Reilly announcing the death of Col. Henry Blake). If “M*A*S*H” had been created in the 2020s, we would instead steel ourselves for the predictable, with a dazed Radar muttering, “My teddy bear just announced that he’s a lesbian.”

The “M*A*S*H” producers scrupulously turned off the laugh track during surgery scenes. Our hypothetical “M*A*S*H” of 2022? They would doubtless instead have guest-star Joe Biden pop in to remind the audience, “Not a joke.”

“M*A*S*H” ranked #46 in the Nielsen ratings for its inaugural season and was nearly canceled. When it bowed out 11 years later, the finale became the most watched U.S. television broadcast in history at that time, with 106 million viewers. TV programmers still haven’t learned patience. Most shows come on and off faster than one of Klinger’s gowns.

“Maude” gave us both Bea Arthur (as “that uncompromisin’, enterprisin’, anything but tranquilizin’ right on Maude”) and Rue McClanahan (as her confidante Vivian Harmon) more than a decade before their “Golden Girls” misadventures. During the fourth season, I ran home from my afterschool job every Monday night to catch “Maude” (and its lead-in, “All in the Family,” featuring Maude’s cousin, Edith Bunker).

“Maude” was a ratings powerhouse for most of its network run, but I read in Norman Lear’s autobiography that local station program directors balked at the syndicated reruns, using a crude term for a domineering woman. I can just imagine Maude sternly announcing, “God will get you for that, local station program directors.”

“The Waltons” became a nostalgic Thursday night destination for entire families, but that was then. Nowadays, the familiar “Good night, John-Boy” would be replaced with “Be sure to turn off your back-lit electronic devices half an hour before bedtime, John-Boy.”

ABC’s wildly popular “Kung Fu” starred David Carradine as Shaolin priest and martial arts expert Kwai Chang Caine. The show could truly have used a “Grasshopper, don’t try this at home” disclaimer. No telling how many pulled muscles, bruised jaws and broken vases came out of kids imitating the action.

“The Streets of San Francisco” (pairing Hollywood veteran Karl Malden with a young Michael Douglas) was a worthy addition to the Quinn Martin Productions stable. Mercifully, it came and went before the current trend of police procedural “franchises,” or we would have “The Streets of San Francisco: Dirt Roads of Podunk.”

The TV networks are breathlessly hyping their new shows, but will anyone remember them this fondly in 2072?

Maybe, just maybe. And maybe by then I will finally be rid of this wedgie. *Sigh* Good old school days.

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It was the hubris that killed her

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Jim Opionin by Jim Powers
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Sara Lee, a woman you are likely to have never heard of, died at age 30 October 6, 2022. She was a wrestler who won the sixth season of the reality show “WWE Tough Enough.” 

There has been no known cause of death issued at the time I am writing. Her last Instagram noted that she had been suffering from a bad sinus infection but was feeling better and able to go back to the gym.

The internet, I’m sure to your great surprise, is filled with limitless experts knowledgeable in all specialties of medicine and crystal ball gazing, that jumped into the comments sections of every story featuring Lee’s death to express with certainty her “true” cause of death. It was, they insisted, the Covid Vaccine.

“People don’t normally die that young, and we are only seeing these deaths since millions got the vaccine,” they with complete unlimited hubris insisted. Unaware, apparently, that they do.

A lot of people die each year between the ages of 24-35. According to the statistics group statista, in theUnited States, 177 men per one hundred thousand population and 78.9 women die each year of various causes. These numbers are from 1999 which eliminates Covid or Covid vaccines as a factor. As of January 2022, the population of the U.S. is 332 million. Despite the internet expert’s confidence in their remote diagnosis of Lee’s cause of death and insistence that death among young adults isn’t a thing, a lot of young people die every year in the U.S.

In fact, most of us probably have known someone who died much too soon. I knew a guy who died from a heart attack at age 41. His father had died from a heart attack at age 41. Not to mention people I’ve known who died at a young age from accidents, violence, and drug abuse.

I think these internet prognosticators are driven to insist without facts that Lee died because of the Covid vaccine for a couple of reasons. 

First, blaming Covid and the Covid vaccines cements their membership in a particular political movement. To be a part of the club, you must believe that Biden didn’t win the 2020 election, he is not really in the Whitehouse, having died in 2019, but has been replaced by the actor James Woods and when you see him at the Whitehouse, it’s on a greenscreen soundstage in California. That Trump is still the President, yet the U.S. is being run by a deep state cabal of Jewish billionaires. That Donald Trump is the Messiah, the Son of Man who is sent by God to kick off the Apocalypse and reign for 1,000 years of peace and prosperity. Oh, yeah, and that the Covid vaccine Trump has taken credit for developing, was in fact developed to kill off all of humanity.

Secondly, people just don’t like complexity or uncertainty. They can’t accept that awful things happen to people randomly, that they have no personal control over anything, and life is dangerous. So, if a 30-year-old apparently healthy woman dies, they have to have something concrete to blame. “Well, young people don’t usually die, so it MUST be the Covid vaccine that killed her.” (See my first reason above.)

If we are to survive as a country, heck, as a species, we have got to put away these years of magical thinking, put to death the Invisible Pink Unicorn we seem to believe is running the Universe, and accept the world (and truth) as it is. From my observations over the last decade, I don’t hold much hope in that. Hubris aside.

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Committee focused on economic development

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Trent AshbyOn the misty morning of October 2nd, 1835, fighting broke out at Gonzales between Mexican soldiers and Texas militiamen, signifying the start of the War for Texas Independence. 

When the Mexican commander received word that Texas settlers refused to surrender a small cannon, he dispatched 100 soldiers to retrieve it. There were around 140 Texan rebels ready for action in Gonzales, and they flew a makeshift flag reading “Come And Take it.” And thus, the first shots of the Texas Revolution were fired.

The famous flag from that Gonzales clash has become a hallmark of Texas pride, with the “Come And Take It” message enduring today, nearly 200 years later, as a testament to the strength and bravery of the Texas spirit. 

With that bit of Texas history, we’ll dive back into our examination of House interim charges:

House Interim Charge: International Relations & Economic Development

The committee of focus this week is the House Committee on International Relations & Economic Development. With nine sitting members, this Committee is responsible for matters involving trade relations between other states, nations, and the federal government. Additionally, the Committee has jurisdiction over economic and industrial development, efforts to support small businesses, and job creation programs. The Committee also has purview over several state agencies, including the Office of State-Federal Relations, the Texas Economic Development and Tourism Office, and the Texas Workforce Commission.

Like most House committees, this Committee will conduct active oversight of relevant legislation passed by the 87th Legislature and ensure the policies are being implemented as intended. To touch on a few, HB 3767 established the Tri-Agency Workforce Initiative as a permanent collaborative effort between the Texas Education Agency, the Texas Workforce Commission, and the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board. The Tri-Agency Workforce Initiative aims to build a strong Texas workforce and ensure that Texans are prepared for jobs in the industries that power the state’s economy both today and into the future. Additionally, the Committee has been tasked to monitor several bills related to supporting child-care workers who play a vital role for families with working parents but often lack adequate compensation and opportunities for career growth.

Following the pandemic, the Committee has been tasked with several charges associated with the state’s economic recovery. These charges include examining the economic impact of inflation, monitoring current economic development incentive programs and opportunities to enhance job creation, evaluating labor shortages and unemployment numbers, and identifying initiatives to expand opportunities to help meet labor demands. The Committee will also examine the state’s ongoing efforts to attract businesses in the technology and innovation sector, such as semiconductors. The production and manufacturing of semiconductors has become an essential component of our state and national economy over the last decade. Attracting capital investments allows semiconductors to elevate Texas as a hub for semiconductor manufacturing activity to rival chip production in foreign countries like China. 

As always, please do not hesitate to contact my office if we can help you in any way. My district office may be reached at (936) 634-2762. Additionally, I welcome you to follow along on my Official Facebook Page, where I will post regular updates on what’s happening in your State Capitol and share information that could be useful to you and your family: https://www.facebook.com/RepTrentAshby/.

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