Bite-sized commentaries

So this week for my scrawling on this page, I’m trying a different approach with things.

Our esteemed friend Gary Borders, the award-winning newspaperman and essayist, is the current curator of the weekly Capitol Highlights column, courtesy of Texas Press Association.

In the column, Borders follows a great tradition of breaking down current stories of statewide interest into brief bits of news. Read any of Borders’s weekly columns, and you’ll have a working knowledge of important issues facing Texans on any given week.

In following that sterling example (no pun intended…Borders’s predecessor is named Ed Sterling) I’ve decided to take the same approach with news stories that have stuck out to me but marinated in some of that Chris Edwards special commentary sauce you’ve grown to love (well, all three of you who read my rantings).

So here goes. This may be the only time I do this, but then again, it might just stick.

AG wants more power to prosecute election crimes

Last week, it was reported that Attorney General Ken Paxton wants more power to prosecute election crime, and several bills in this current legislative session would give it to him.

Although no evidence of widespread voter fraud has been found, Paxton has been actively pursuing election-related crimes since he took office in 2015.

How about a bill signed into law forbidding anyone under federal criminal indictment from serving as AG?

Abbott prioritizing budget surplus, schools and power grid

At his inauguration last Tuesday, Gov. Greg Abbott emphasized that this legislative session will be centered on the state’s historic budget surplus, parental rights in schools and public safety.

Additionally, Abbott said in this session “we will build a grid that powers our state – not for the next four years, but for the next 40 years.”

The aforementioned topics, as well as meaningful property tax reform, are issues that actually mean something to Texans. Stick to this, legislators, and deliver for your constituents and leave the culture-warring nonsense to the cesspool of social media.

Keyboard culture warriors react to Pink Floyd

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of its legendary and mega-selling album Dark Side of the Moon, the band Pink Floyd changed its Facebook profile image to a prism outlining the number “50” and a rainbow color scheme inside of the zero.

The reactions to some of the band’s Facebook followers was nothing short of ridiculous, with some commenters making such solid gold replies as “are you going woke with rainbows, is there a straight flag, I want equal representation…” (yes, Facebook culture warriors are big fans of run-on sentences and bigotry).

Never mind the fact that the album’s iconic cover image features a rainbow color prism.

How exhausting it must be to have a knee-jerk reaction to turn everything into a political talking point as one’s super-power.

M&Ms replace “spokescandies”

In another example from the “everything’s a political talking point” frontier, Mars, the candy giant, announced on Monday that it is replacing its M&Ms “spokescandies” with the former Rentals keyboardist/former SNL cast member Maya Rudolph. This move came after right-wing criticism that the company’s anthropomorphic candies’ makeovers had gone too far.

For example, a new purple M&M was added to the roster, to represent inclusivity. The orange M&M was made to be an avatar for those struggling with anxiety.

So is Critical Candy Theory the new thing everyone should be up in arms about?

Santos continues to rankle

Embattled Empire State congressman George Santos (if that is actually his name) continued to draw controversy last week.

The newly sworn-in lawmaker has admitted to, um, reinventing large swaths of his resume, but in spite of that, he wound up with committee assignments, and insists he will only step down if the voters turn against him.

Recently video footage turned up of Santos as a drag performer. The silver lining here is that Saturday Night Live now has a fully formed comedic character that the show’s writers won’t even have to get that creative with in order to spoof.

Another good yearfor Dem Boys

Another 12-win season and respectable post-season showing from the Dallas Cowboys ended on Sunday with a fight-to-the-finish loss against the long-irrelevant San Francisco 49ers. Tough loss, to be certain, but it was a good season with an improved roster.

What are the haters and fans, alike, to do with their lives now?

Sullivan celebratesmilestone

Woodville icon and ace raconteur Fred Sullivan just celebrated a milestone birthday. If you happen to find yourself in downtown Woodville, drop on by Sullivan’s and wish Fred a most happy of happy birthdays.

If the world had many more folks like Fred in it, then the world would be a much kinder, more intelligent place.

Happy birthday, good sir!