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Houston County Courier - Local News

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Local barber was a Sherlock Holmes
Houston County Courier

By Slim Randles
Contributing Columnist

I heard the rumor down at the feed store, later in the afternoon. We had a real live Sherlock Holmes in our community, and he was our local barber, Curtis Naismith. "What do you mean?" I asked Julie, the stout girl hired to carry 100-pound sacks of grain out to waiting trucks. "Curtis can tell," she said. "He can tell where you've been and what you've been doing, and it's a kind of magic, like that e.s.p. stuff." This was big news here, of course, and I had to go see for myself. I was getting a little shaggy, so it was time I went down there for a trim and some lilac water anyway. Curtis wrapped the paper hangman tight around my neck and started the clippers. "Curtis, I hear you're a detective," I said. "Always wanted to be," he said. "Always wanted to be. Then I got in here with my dad all those years ago, you know. Been here ever since." "But I understand you have e.s.p. or something." He laughed. "Of course not. It's just that I've been studying detective methods for a long time. I can sometimes tell what people have been doing." "Well … how about me? Can you tell me what I've been doing?" "Let's see." Dear Editor, I am a wee bit weary of being accused of being prejudiced, a la Hollywood Groves, the Democratic Party, because I, being white, voted against Obama. If for no reason I knew the history of the Chicago political system that spawned Obama. It was and is one of corruption, pay to play, cronyism, election buying and stealing. You know that any politician who comes through this system will be thoroughly corrupt. Concerning racism, over 90 percent of blacks who voted, voted for Obama instead of Romney. There can be no doubt that racism was part of the reason for that high percentage. If there is just one honest person in Obama's administration, would you please speak up? The lying all begins with Obama but his whole administration is dedicated to lying to cover up their incompetence, their corruption, their arrogance and their ignorance. Obama has two excuses for all his failures: "George Bush's fault" or "I did not know about that until I read it in the paper or heard it on the news." I can believe he is ignorant because I remember Obama alluding to the "57 states in the Union." I emailed Whitehouse.gov requesting the names and locations of these other seven states but, unfortunately, Obama did not share this information with me. Probably for national security reasons. With this administration it has been scandal on top of scandal. What I regard as the first scandal, where Obama revealed the fact that he is prejudiced, was the incident between the white Cambridge police sergeant and the black professor. Remember Obama's condemnation of the officer, "I don't have all the facts but I feel certain the officer was at fault." Police recordings revealed that the professor lied while the officer told the truth. Obama never apologized to the officer but invited him to Washington to settle it "over a beer", as if the officer had any choice in the matter. It takes a real man to say, "I was wrong." The latest scandals, and He stopped the clippers and stepped back and looked at my head. "I can tell you went to Oakhurst about three weeks ago," he said. "And you visited Charlie Taylor while you were there." "You know," I said, "that's right. I did. But how did you know?" He laughed. "Nobody does ears like Charlie. He's a good barber, and he always leaves a clear path around the ears, sloping steeper in front of the ear than behind. And … since you have about three weeks' growth of hair since Charlie saw you …" I still think there's some e.s.p. in it somewhere. • • • Brought to you by The Backpocket Guide to Hunting Elk. Read a sample of the download book in time for Father's Day at www. slimrandles.com.


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